The King Of Who I Am

When I was a young teenager, my parents gave me a guitar and lovingly told me to learn how to play. I would often listen to my older brother play classical guitar in his room, so on tiptoe I would run quietly to his door, press my ear to it, then run back to my room and try to play what I just heard. It wasn’t long before I started writing my own songs. I loved Jesus, so writing songs for Him just came natural to me.

As time went on, I knew something was different about my love for writing and singing songs. I met so many people along the way who played so well on their instruments. I couldn’t wait to strike up a conversation with them about their passion for music as well, and to my surprise, I was stunned to find out how many people were indifferent about their musical talent. I would ask questions like, “don”t you want to do something more with your gift of music?” …or, “ don’t you want to reach the world with your talent?” I didn’t understand at the time why many people didn’t feel the way I did about it.

For me, there was no turning back from the call that knocked on my heart for as long as I can remember. It was not something I could make happen, it was clearly what God had for me. Many times, I laid down the vision, put it away, only to find it returned stronger than before. When I would see people I haven’t seen in a while, they would always ask, “are you still doing music?” I would usually reply, “I can’t not do it.” I truly thought this road I was on was going to be a piece of cake. I mean after all, it was God’s idea not mine. It was anything but easy and a whole lot more. Many delays, trials, rejections as well as family commitments, often left me without understanding God’s ways. But He showed me that these things were necessary, even part of His provision and protection.

I learned so much about Jesus during this time. I learned that what happens to us in life, He will use through us to help others. I learned that we not only wait for Him, but He waits for us. I learned to be faithful in the small, to love when I didn’t feel loved. I learned it was less important to sing to the masses than it was to be willing to worship Him in the quiet of my being – to an audience of one. I never wavered as to the subject matter of my songs. Today, as it was those many years ago, it’s about Jesus, the King of who I am.